Richard's Quality Meats - Newark - Pork & Black Pudding Sausage

We've lived in the attractive and historic market town of Newark for a year now and still haven't reviewed the local sausages. This obviously had to change so the plan is to tour the proper butchers in the town over the coming weeks - there are quite a few of them - and rate their bangers. First up are the pork and black pudding sausages from Richard's Quality Meats.

Richard's is a small but attractive shop, kept spotless as you would hope. They carry a huge variety of sausages so pretty much any palate can be accommodated. During the summer months they also offer a good range of BBQ packs, and judging by the reviews already online these are good quality and a good price. One thing not included in these special packs are their Vesuvius sausages, made with Indian fire chillies, specially developed by Richard to shoot down in flames (literally) those “I can eat any amount of spice” annoying kind of BBQ show-offs. Wow, they are hot, I was fortunate enough to try a couple and they are not for the faint hearted. If you like a spicy banger but one that won't set your eyebrows on fire, try the Three Amigos variety, made with three different chillies and peppers.

But those sausages are for another day. How did we rate the Pork & Black Pudding variety? Read on sausage fans...

Where To Find Them:

Tucked away up a small back passage in the middle of Newark is where you'll locate Richard's Quality Meats. The actual alley is called Clinton Arms Court, but if you can find Wilko's you're in the right place. Or if you're in the market place look for Barclays bank and head to its left.

Opening Hours:

Monday – Closed

Tuesday – 0800 to 1600

Wednesday – 0800 to 1600

Thursday – 0800 to 1600

Friday – 0800 to 1600

Saturday – 0800 to 1530

Sunday - Closed

Stanwatch:

There are always a few Stans and Stanettes busily beavering in the background in this shop, properly turned out in whites, and all friendly and welcoming.

Flavour:

The pleasantly savoury flavour is well balanced between the two main ingredients. The pork is obviously good cuts, the opposite end of the quality spectrum to the pork we found in last week's Co-op review. You can see the nuggets of black pudding in the filling and it's a traditional accompaniment to sausages on the Full English plate. They go together like Mork and Mindy. Or salt and vinegar. Or Colleen Rooney and Rebecca Vardy. Oh, hold on....not that last one. This is a tasty sausage.

Texture:

Very good. Take a look at the “sliced” picture. Here at RMS we like our sausage fillings chunky and lumpy and these bangers are a pretty good attempt. Again, look at the Co-op variety from last week, there's really no comparison. It's like parking a Lotus next to a Datsun, one is hand-made by an individual who really knows and understands what they're doing, the other mass-produced on a production line. The skins are natural, as they should be. A proper casing really adds something to a sausage, the snap/crack when you cut them, and the effect of the frying pan heat tends to bend and bow them in interesting and unique ways. Ever wondered why low quality products like Richmonds sausages retain their perfect straight shape? It's because the collagen skins don't react in any way, except maybe disappearing completely. You can't say the same for this particular sausage.

Vital Statistics:

Average Weight Uncooked = 73 grams

Average Weight Cooked = 58 grams

Meat Content = 75 %

Value For Money:

We got a special deal here but going by the book the cost would be £5.21 for 8 sausages weighing 582 grams. This works out as £8.95 per kg and 65p per banger.

We rate this as good value for money.

The "Aah, Bisto" Factor:

Wonderful aroma as these were frying in the pan, filled the house and made me feel impatient to eat them, always a good sign. I do feel sorry for people who cook sausages in the oven, they're missing out on the great, traditional smell of frying bangers...

And Finally, Esther:

To paraphrase the great John Motson's iconic commentary on a Tony Currie goal, this is “A quality sausage from a quality butcher.” Buy some!

Co-op - Nationwide - Pork Sausage

Everyone's heard of the Co-op right? Mostly you will picture a small-ish, local convenience store, but they also offer funeral services, insurance and legal services. Not bad for an organisation that traces its roots back to The Rochdale Pioneers in 1844. The Pioneers were a group of 28 people, mostly weavers, who saw the mechanisation of their industries coming, and decided to co-operate to open food shops to sell goods that were often too expensive otherwise. This has grown hugely over the years and now the Co-op has 4.6 million members across the UK. I am a member too, and find Co-op to be convenient but slightly over-priced.

To do your own research here's a link to their website: CO-OP

So how would their lowest price bangers turn out? Another Richmonds/Walls/Iceland offering of extremely low quality? Or a rare supermarket gem, a good product at a low price? Three of our Twitter readers awarded them 6.5, 6 and 5, an average of 5.8 – cheers Paul, Andy and David. Would our opinion match the boys'? There's only one way to find out...read on...

Where To Find Them:

Co-op has 3,700 locations all over Britain, covering all their business arms. Some people say that you're never more than five metres away from a Co-op, but they are very silly people. You can find your nearest outlet with this link: STORE FINDER

Opening Hours:

These vary depending on the location, my local shop in Barnbygate, Newark, is open thus:

Monday – 0700 to 2100

Tuesday – 0700 to 2100

Wednesday – 0700 to 2100

Thursday – 0700 to 2100

Friday – 0700 to 2100

Saturday – 0700 to 2100

Sunday - 0700 to 2100

Stanwatch:

I can't recall ever seeing a butcher at work inside a Co-op, but it may happen in some places? If you've spotted a Stan in a Co-op please take a photo and send it in!

Flavour:

My notes simply read “Bland. Uninspiring. Letdown.” That just about says it all here. Very little porky loveliness, not enough herbs to make the slightest impression on your taste buds. There's added sugars in them too, to produce an artificial browning, attempting to fool us consumers that the ingredients are of a higher quality. Children would probably love them though as they're completely unchallenging, virtually flavourless and easy to eat. I sooo wanted these to be at the very least “average” because I respect the Co-op and what it does. But they're not.

Texture:

As you can see from the sliced picture, there's not a lot good to report. Slightly – just slightly – better than your standard greasy spoon wholesale banger, but still soft and squishy. If the filling was terrible the skins were even worse. Described on the packaging as “made using pork” I am assuming they are collagen not natural casings, as there was no “snap” when cutting and they virtually disappeared in the pan. One of the sausages even broke in two simply by turning gently with tongs.

Value For Money:

£1.90 for 8 sausages weighing 454 grams. This works out as £4.19 per kg and 24p per banger. Extremely cheap...does cheap mean the same as value for money?

No!

We rate this product as poor value for money.

Vital Statistics:

Average Weight Uncooked = 57 grams

Average Weight Cooked = 51 grams

Meat Content = 72 %

You have to wonder which cuts of pork are used if this figure is accurate, for 24p per item.

The "Aah, Bisto" Factor:

Not unpleasant during cooking but very faint. Not a lot of aromatic ingredients inside.

The Imaginatively Titled Next Day Cold Sausage Test:

Yes I saved some of these sausages in the fridge for the next day. I wish I hadn't. A lot of high quality sausages can taste even better the day after, having firmed up overnight. Not these things. One bite was spat out seconds later, and the rest dispatched straight into the bin.

And Finally, Esther:

Not the worst sausage we've ever reviewed, but definitely in the relegation zone. Don't go out of your way to buy them.

The Decent Company - Abergavenny - Pork Sausage

Is it too soon to mention Christmas? In my humble opinion it definitely is. Having said that, is it too soon to mention Sausage Of The Year? Weeelll....maybe. But you might well be looking at it right here...

Do the names Tom and Barbara mean anything to you? They were the main characters in the classic sitcom The Good Life, in which a couple left the rat race behind and tried to live a self sufficient life. The story of The Decent Company has echoes of this story, in that the founder, Martha Roberts, also quit a life of spreadsheets and meetings to become, in her own words “A former suburban, corporate woman, gone rogue!” They share values and beliefs but the difference between the two is that Martha shares her vision, and the meat that it creates, with a loyal following of extremely satisfied customers. The most common way to purchase the end product is via the half pig, quarter pig or taster boxes. I'd love to describe Martha's life and her smallholding to you but it's done much better on her own website (a link can be found further down the page).

Before ordering my quarter of a pig I did a little research online, and asked people for their opinion on the sausages – here are some of those views:

“We like them so much we bought a year's supply!”

“I highly recommend them (and Martha's pig-keeping skills/high welfare standards).”

“Oh yes, loved them. And reordered.”

Previous customers seem happy enough eh?

Where To Find Them:

The Decent Company is of course a real-life smallholding, but you can only purchase their piggy products online. The website is beautifully designed and gives a great insight into the high welfare standards employed. As it's such a small scale operation the meat is not available all day every day, and becomes available only when the current broods are ready. For this reason I would seriously advise contacting Martha via the order form on the website, or via Twitter (@MarthaRoberts). The online form also let's you know when the next batch of pork will be available.

If for no other reason, visit this website for lots of lovely pictures of piglets doing what piglets love to do: THE DECENT COMPANY

Opening Hours:

The internet is open 24 hours a day, every day, except Easter Sunday. Early closing Thursday afternoons.

Flavour:

The pork from the mostly Gloucester Old Spot pigs is so sweet, it provides a prominent yet delicate flavour here. My notes say “Absolutely bloody lovely”. There's seasoning here but it's subtle, just enough to give the taste a boost but not so that the meat is overpowered. It's a smooth, old-fashioned deliciousness that I loved, and frankly can hardly wait to get the next lot in the frying pan!

Texture:

The filling is quite fine but beautifully firm at the same time, you're hard pushed to squish these through your fork (unlike poor quality offerings from the likes of Richmonds, Iceland, etc). In the mouth the sausage breaks apart allowing thousands of tasty bobbles of flavoursome pork to run riot. The skins snap just perfectly when cut, and squeak in the mouth. Near perfection...

Vital Statistics:

Average Weight Uncooked = 59 grams

Average Weight Cooked = 48 grams

Meat Content = 85 %

Value For Money:

Our sausages came as part of our “quarter pig” box so it's impossible to separate their price. The webite though lists a kilogram of sausages for £10, so I'll use that. We ordered the quarter pig box, at £90 which iis a good price for the large amount and variety of meat that you receive.

£3.51 for 6 sausages weighing 351 grams. This works out as £10.00 per kg and 58p per banger. Far from extortionate for such a quality item.

We rate this as fabulous value for money.

The "Aah, Bisto" Factor:

We've always fried sausages for our reviews, and this time was no different. As I've recently moved house I am still trying to get the hang of using a gas hob (had a couple of disasters so far too), so these sausages were fried very slowly. Oh my goodness, oh my goodness....the whole house was filled with the most mouth-watering aroma, which just got better as the bangers browned. Lovely.

The Imaginatively Titled Next Day Cold Sausage Test:

Yeah, right. You think any of these beauties would survive overnight? No chance.

And Finally, Esther:

From start to finish there is nothing not to like about The Decent Company and its products. Sausage Of The Year? Maybe. Martha Roberts is a food heroine.

Wetherills - Sleaford - Plain Pork Sausage

“Local Lincolnshire pork sausages med by a yeller belly...”

Have you ever heard the phrase “No Frills” when applied to goods or businesses? It’s fairly synonymous with the words basic, rough, cheap, and other not particularly nice phrases. However, in the case of Wetherills Butchers you will find a No Frills operation that provides high quality produce.

As far as I can see this business is housed in an old stable down an innocuous looking side passage off Southgate in the south Lincolnshire market town of Sleaford. Take a look at our photo and keep your eyes peeled for the sign on the wall – it’s on the same side of the street as the Wise Owl discount store.

The Weight-loss Club Controversy:

One reason that I was interested to try these sausages was to investigate the alleged link with a major weight-loss club....we’ll call them Dieting Planet. A few years ago Wetherills sold lots and lots of sausages to members of.....Dieting Planet....and there was some confusion over whether this was an official endorsement or not. It appears that it was not, although this was no fault of the butcher, who had never claimed such a link. As soon as word escaped that their low fat sausages were suitable for the....Dieting Planet....scheme it spread like wildfire. Sadly, rather than enjoying a little free publicity, Dieting Planet came on heavy handed and threatened all kinds of consequences. Very disingenuous. For the record, Wetherills butcher makes no claim whatsoever to any kind of association with....Dieting Planet....or any other organised weight-loss organisation.

However, if you are looking to lose a few pounds then Wetherills sausages can definitely help. I watched as nearly all the fat was trimmed from the pork before mincing. Also there is less rusk in the low fat versions. Still tasty, but less on the waisty. For the record, Paul believes that each low fat sausage counts roughly one “naughty point”.

Opening Hours:

I love quirky opening hours and these are crackers...

Monday – 0730 to 1400

Tuesday – 0730 to 1300

Wednesday – 0730 to 1300

Thursday – 0730 to 1400

Friday – 0730 to 1300

Saturday – 0730 to 0830 and then 0930 to 1300

Sunday - Closed

Stanwatch:

What you see is what you get here. Paul and Tanya are the full complement of staff, and you can see everything that they’re doing. Nothing hidden away “round the back” in this shop. Flipping cold in the winter I bet.

Flavour:

Low cost but far from low quality...the nice Lincolnshire bred pork is allowed to shine through in these uncomplicated sausages. The seasoning is subtle, just sufficient to highlight the sweet porkiness, and in summary these bangers “do exactly what it says on the tin”. The butcher doesn’t add any fancy stuff at all, it’s pork, just pork, and it’s all the better for that. 

Texture:

My notes say “Initially – juicy! A very decent chewy mouthful”. And there you have it really. The cut is quite fine but the filling becomes more crumbly as it cools after cooking. Priced very similarly to retail rubbish such as Richmonds, the gulf in quality is immense; these have the feel of a proper banger as opposed to the sludge-like plop inside a mass-produced monstrosity.

Vital Statistics:

Average Weight Uncooked = 85 grams (EIGHTY FIVE!)

Average Weight Cooked = 67 grams

Meat Content = Wetherills declare the meat content as 65% but in a recent Food Standards test the actual figure turned out to be 72%.

Value For Money:

£2.57 for 6 sausages weighing 510 grams. This works out as £5.04 per kg and 43p per banger.

We rate this as blooming marvellous value for money. As previously mentioned the pricing is very similar to, say, Richmonds or Walls, but you would be mad to buy those when you could have these! And remember, each of these weighs in at 85 grams, the Richmonds only 56. What would you rather pay for?

The "Aah, Bisto" Factor:

Frying these sausages was a painful experience – but only because I had been slicing onions to make the onion gravy and my eyes were on fire! I can’t tell you if there was a delicious aroma wafting around, I was too busy crying my eyes out.

And Finally, Esther:

I said it before and it’s worth repeating - Low cost but far from low quality. Try some as soon as you can.

Dorset Meat Company - Pork Sausage - Reviewed by Boris the Irish Water Spaniel

We’re not known for innovation but we think this is a first – the world’s first ever sausage review written by a dog. In this case written by Boris the Irish Water Spaniel.....here he is....

As promised here is my review of The Dorset Meat Company’s lovely pork sausages. I am quite an expert on sausages and rate this as the best one ever ! 10/10 .The only negative thing is that mother over cooked them as she likes them well done - it went very quickly!

Not only do I and my brothers and sister eat cooked sausages as a treat we also eat a raw diet. We love meat in this household!

If you would like to peruse the products from the Dorset Meat Company then click on these links:

The Dorset Meat Company Website

Dorset Meat Company Pork Sausages

And to wrap up this ground-breaking tour de force, here is how Boris' owners enjoyed their bangers - in a sausage and onion sandwich. Thanks for the review Boris, look forward to the next one!

Tesco - Woodside Farm - Land Of Make Believe - Pork Sausage

We have reviewed Tesco sausages before. We even liked some of them. But, more often than not the quality of their bangers is woeful (and that's being polite). This time however we are NOT reviewing Tesco sausages. Oh no! No way. These are from Woodside Farms, which sounds to me like an idyllic leafy smallholding, possibly in the Cotswolds? Or maybe the Scottish borders?

Where To Find Them:
I hope the best place to find Woodside Farms sausages would be Woodside Farm or their stall at a farmers' market? But, obviously, it doesn't exist. The true location of Woodside Farm is in the collective, deceptive imagination of the team of marketing charlatans employed by Tesco to fool the British public into thinking their terrible products are more authentic and of better provenance than they truly are.

Now, we were recently invited by boss Jane Tomlinson, in charge of Redhill Farm Free Range Pork to visit their farm and have a lovely guided tour. And we fully intend to take her up on such a kind offer. To give Woodside Farm a bit of a chance to impress I asked Tesco if we could visit Woodside Farm - what a shock, absolutely no response. And that's because it is completely fabricated.

Woodside Farm is one of the mainstays of the Tesco "Fake Farms" marketing campaign. It has pretty much replaced their Everyday Value branding for many product lines. Now I believe there is a place for budget products, but not when they've been disguised as something better than they are.  Bring back Everyday Value and consign the Fake Farms to advertising purgatory.

Flavour:
The flavour is that of mushed-up paper sprinkled with salt. It's not good, and disappointing even at this price point. Think of the worst cafe sausage you have ever eaten and you're in the right area. The ingredients list claims 52% pork - but in my opinion there's very little decent meat included in that figure. Almost tasteless, unless you enjoy chewing salty newspaper. Potentially less meat here than in a vegan's bogies.

Texture:
The notes just say "Mushy. Squishy. Spongey. Unpleasant. Nothing to bite into." And that is an accurate description of the, basically, plop that is inside these artificial tubes of abhorrence. No resistance to the fork, no discernible niblets of meat, gristle, fat, anything at all. You could probably "eat" these with a straw. There was a ridiculous amount of liquid in the pan after cooking, and some of them split their sides.

Vital Statistics:
Average Weight Uncooked = 57 grams
Average Weight Cooked = 47 grams
Meat Content = 52 %


Value For Money:
£0.66 for 8 sausages weighing 459 grams. This works out as £1.44 per kg and 8p per banger. EIGHT PENCE. Even at this ridiculously low price we rate this as no kind of value for money. If you buy these you have wasted 66p. Avoid at all costs.

Junior Sidekick's Three Word Verdict:
Sam was sensibly at school when these were reviewed. Even though it was a Sunday. Hmmmm. Who's a clever boy then?

The "Aah, Bisto" Factor:
Desperately trying to find positives for these items. What was the aroma like during cooking? Well, there wasn't any. A nice sausage-y, spicy whiff would have been a counterbalance to the awful lack of flavour and texture but there was.....nothing. Less smelly than an Obsessive Compulsive Cleaner's toilet bowl.


The Imaginatively Titled Next Day Cold Sausage Test:
Didn't want to re-visit these vile things again. Leftovers went straight in the bin.

And Finally, Esther:
Woodside Farms is a fictitious producer, invented by a multinational uber-shop to fool people into thinking the product is better than it is. On no account should anybody buy this product, ever. Please put your 66p into a charity collection box instead.

Marks & Spencers - Simply M&S Pork Sausage

These are not just your usual crap, sloppy supermarket sausages – these are M&S crap, sloppy supermarket sausages.  I bet Twiggy and Myleene Klass wouldn’t touch them with a bargepole.

I’ve tried to research who makes M&S’ value sausages (branded as “Simply M&S”) but been thwarted.  Nobody’s owning up to it.  But I think it’s fair to expect them to be far superior to, say, Tesco’s cheapest bangers.  If you bought a similarly priced pack of, for example’s sake, boxer shorts from each retailer you would expect the M&S undercrackers to be better quality.  Would the same thing go for the sausages?  Well....no.  They’re both dreadful.  If the same applied to their pants, I’m going commando for life.  And that’s not an image you want at breakfast time.

Meat Content:

60% only, and according to the packaging “selected cuts of pork”.  Selected for sausages because nobody would want to eat them in their original form I’m thinking.  I know how a real banger made with truly “good” cuts of pork tastes, and it ain’t anything like these gopping articles.

Flavour:

Prior to eating I was repeating the mantra “Please don’t be salty mush, please don’t be salty mush”....and when I tucked in......they were salty mush.  Not as utterly sloppy and ploppy as either the porridge in The Slammer (ask an eight-year-old), or as Richmond’s sausages, but unpleasantly bland nevertheless.  I was tempted to write just one word in the Flavour section....”Absent”....but that would be slightly inaccurate.  Just slightly, mind.  There’s salt in spades, there’s squishy grey-toned “stuff”, there’s the remains of the skins – which, incidentally, took it upon themselves to disappear completely during cooking and thus made a RIGHT freakin’ mess of my best pan – NOT happy....so flavour – nothing positive going on no matter how hard I looked.  Abysmal.

Texture:

When I was slicing the sausages for the photos I did feel some vague grainy resistance which raised my hopes, which were callously dashed when I actually put a slice into my mouth.  There’s really not a lot of substance here.  You barely need to cut these, the knife almost sinks through the soggy “pork protein” casing of its own accord (what casing there is left, that is).  Rank.

Stripes.  Yup....

Shrinkage: 

Average weight uncooked - 58g

Average weight cooked - 43g

Shrinkage - 26%

Would you be happy if you bought a pair of M&S slacks and when you came to wear them later they had shrunk to resemble culottes (thanks to posh-ish female friend for analogy)?  Obviously not!

Value For Money:

£1.39 for eight sausages, weighing 461g - this works out as a price of £3.02 per kg, or 17p per snorker.  Very cheap, but very nasty.  Very poor value for money, AVOID!

The Bisto Factor:

No discernible aroma whatsoever throughout cooking.  Disappointing and sad.

Through A Child’s Eyes:

No chance, you’re not getting Social Services onto my back for subjecting Junior Sidekick to these bangers.....

The Imaginatively Titled Next Day Cold Sausage Test:

I was actually dreading the Cold Sausage Test, which probably tells you all you need to know about the quality of the M&S banger.  Well just take a look at the pictures, which show the M&S sausages on the left and some Pork & Leek sausages from Bowers of King’s Lynn (review right here, next week) on the right.  Spot the difference? 

Opening Hours:

Ask your Nan.  Just don’t ask her to buy you any of their sausages.

And Finally, Esther:

I was going to pick two words beginning with the letters M and S to summarise these sausages, but I couldn’t make my mind up which derogatory ones to choose.  Have a go yourself....